those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
