Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
