apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
