Where did you get a picture of my penis
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
