so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
