honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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