I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
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I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
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I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i out mim tonsoeep
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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