if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
