im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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