I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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