I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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