do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
