that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
