Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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