Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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