i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize