WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
