Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
