How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
