I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
