her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
