So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
