Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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