So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
