Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
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Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
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Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize