Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
