so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
