I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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