woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
