Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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