I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My dick has a subreddit
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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