Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
