i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
