it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
BRING THE BAGELS
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
