Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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