so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
