Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
