ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
