Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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