if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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