It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
pray to the hookup gods
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
