He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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