Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
