walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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