We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
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DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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