guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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