So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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