Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
