his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
