Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
