dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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