You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
