i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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