I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
