Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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