you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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