my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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