There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
