No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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