You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think people are normalizing furries
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
