last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
handjob tips. give me some.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
