Screwed.edu
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
