i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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