i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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