Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just fell off a train. Bad.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
